It’s funny how shit happens so suddenly.

I was at the gym just now doing my thing on the treadmill, zoning in and out to No Doubt’s “Underneath it All” on my IPod when I realized that I was having trouble breathing and swallowing and was nearing a total breakdown.

Now, I’m no Senor Lardass. Far from it. I’ve been running since I was in the 7th grade. I’m too insecure to not take my weight seriously. What got me on the treadmill was shear terror. I couldn’t breathe or swallow because those demons came out, and in the gym too. Damn them.

Those demons scare me about living here, make me question my sanity, tell me that Tokyo isn’t real, whisper that I’m in a coma on a New York City hospital bed. They tell me it’s all a dream.

Thank God Gloria Gaynore’s “I Will Survive” was just a couple of clicks away, then Tony Orldando and Dawn’s “Tie a Yellow Ribbon ‘Round the Old Oak Tree” followed by Alanis Morsette’s “Hand in My Pocket.”

Yes, sometimes I’m “chickenshit.”