For the past few months, I’ve been working part-time at an afterschool program. I tutor kids in English, help them with their homework, and during group sessions, read Clifford the Big Red Fucking Dog and sing songs like “It’s a Small World Afterall” with sign language.

Yes, it’s all a bit not me but in a big way it is me. I know that makes no sense so I won’t try to elaborate.

I’ve never been comfortable leading the small groups when I’m on my own, alone, no other adult in the room. I’m trained and have several years experience dealing with older kids in secondary education. Little kids are not my forte. I mean, what if there is an earthquake or a kid swallows a plastic button?

My previous experience has been teaching inner-city kids in places like New York and Chicago. I’m used to that type of challenge. I like it.

Now I find myself working with kids whose daddy’s have more Yen than Buddha. Some of these kids say things like, “My mommy says that if I don’t like what we’re doing here to call her on my cell phone so that she can pick me up.” and “I don’t want to do that. I said I want to do THAT.” These are kids who are clearly used to getting their way at home from their Filipina housemaids. God bless those poor ladies.

Don’t get me wrong, most of the kids are great and I do enjoy most aspects of my job. I just don’t like leading group sessions alone. I don’t need to work and so have recently started thinking about quitting if things don’t change.

This job has gotten in the way of me traveling to Bangkok with my partner and has made us indefinitely postpone plans to visit Australia. Now, this job has the potential to keep me from a summer wedding in Paris.

Am I a spoiled bitch for thinking twice about this part-time job? Am I becoming one of those expat “wives” who volunteers, shops, sightsees and has cocktails with friends? And would that be so bad?