I once dated a guy who said things like “To be frank honest…” and “For all intensive purposes…” He was a doctor, and a good-looking one at that. Tall, blond, built and dumb as a box of rocks. Incidentally, the tall, blond ones always want shorter, cinnamon-skinned ones, at least in my experience.

Many people assume that doctors are smart, but let me tell you, to be a doctor, all you need is a good memory, a strong stomach and a God complex. I’ve had many doctors confess this not-so-secret secret to me after five or six cocktails.

So what was I doing with the dumb doctor? He was a friend, a friend whom I dated in my youth when I was a first-year teacher and he was still in residency. After a couple of months, I called it off because I knew he wasn’t for me. I pulled that, “Let’s be friends” bullshit.

And friends we were for several years until I found myself in a real pickle, desperate and suddenly rethinking many of my previous decisions (mistakes) I knew all I had to do was say the word and so I did. We reunited as more than just friends and for a while it seemed as if all would be sane again. Boy was I fucking stupid Charlie Brown.

Not only was he dumb, he was a narcissist and an exhibitionist. When I left him for the second time he couldn’t believe I had the nerve to walk out on him. Afterall, he was rich, hot and hung. As if life were a music video.

How could anyone be with anyone they don’t respect for their intelligence? Brain over brawn, Babies, brain over brawn.