As the fires continue to rage in Southern California, CNN’s resident empath Rick Sanchez is there to provide insightful commentary, ask the difficult questions and reassure viewers that the human spirit will prevail in the face of such utter devastation.

Rick:  How does it feel to return to your home to find a smoldering, unrecognizable wreck?

Resident:  It feels great, Rick!  Just peachy!

Rick:  To know that everything you’ve worked so hard for is now gone forever?

Resident:  I couldn’t be happier Rick!  How the fuck do you think I feel you dipshit?

Rick:  To know that now, you only have memories of this place that was once your home?

Resident:  By the time I finish knocking your sorry ass to the floor, you’ll have no memories left to speak of you pompous piece of human rot.

And who could forget Rick as a Century 21 real estate agent when after viewing the former home of a grieving woman he turned to her and said, “Oh but look at the view from your former kitchen!  Tell me, are you going to rebuild?  Because I have a cousin down in Miami who is looking to relocate to California.  This spot would be perfect.  Perfect!”

Rick is truly a rising star at CNN.  Truly.

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