Living in Japan has taught me not to be judgmental.  Critical yes, judgmental no.  Just because something looks odd, suspicious or completely fucked up to me doesn’t mean that it is, in fact, fucked up.  So the men in Tokyo like to dress like David Bowie circa 1973–they pull it off wonderfully with those anorexic frames of theirs.  So the women in Tokyo like to dress like whores–at least their thigh-high boots and come-fuck-me shorty shorts are designer label.

But there are things that are fucked up for real.  I once went into a pornographic DVD store just for laughs with visiting friends and ended up leaving the place horrified.  It wasn’t the DVDs of women clad in skin-tight latex with assholes you could stick your fist up.  To each his own I say.  What horrified me was a selection of DVDs featuring ten-year old girls dressed like ten-year old girls licking ice-cream cones while they rode their tricycles.  No nudity.  No sex.  Just little girls happily eating their ice cream and playing in the park.  Now THAT is fucked up.  The thought of these movies is creepy, disturbing and wreaks of “Welcome to Japan!”

Thousands of miles away, a British teacher sits in a Sudanese jail for “naming” the class teddy bear Mohammad.  “Welcome to Sudan!”  First of all, the kids in her class were the ones who chose the name Mohammad.  It’s not like she went in there trying to turn things around.  And then the government has the good sense to throw her ass in jail.  Now you have Sudanese dumb fucks calling for her execution.  She, after all, basically spit in the eye of Mohammad for agreeing to name the damn bear Mohammad.

In Latin America, a popular name for boys is Jesus.  Is this sacrilegious?  No.  From a white American perspective is it a bit odd?  Yes.  And to tell you the truth, most guys named Jesus end up going by the nickname Chuy when they’re old enough to get teased.  Would you name your kid’s teddy bear Jesus?  Probably not.  Again, it would be weird.  Naming a teddy bear Mohammad is weird but what is fucked up is the reaction many in Sudan had to the naming of the bear.  It’s a fucking plush toy for God’s sake.

There are times when it’s OK to be judgmental.  Female “circumcision” is not ever OK, and we should condemn any country that allows the practice.  Wanting a woman to be executed for naming a teddy bear Mohammad is not OK and would be funny if it wasn’t so pathetic.  It’s another sad reminder that there are still people on this planet who live in the Dark Ages.  But before we get too judgmental, remember that we in the U.S. impeached Clinton over a blowjob while the rest of the developed world laughed, shook their heads and said, “THAT is fucked up.”