Ed Lavandera is that dependable, no-nonsense CNN reporter who has covered everything from Hurricane Katrina to the Space Shuttle Colombia disaster. He is also fat. Not just a little heavy or somewhat overweight but fat as in obese. He is the Grimace of CNN if CNN were a McDonald’s Playland. I guess that would make Wolf Blitzer The Hamburglar and Lou Dobbs Mayor McCheese.

It turns out Ed and I share the same alma mater. Austin has plenty of great Mexican restaurants with margarita specials but it also has an excellent park system with plenty of bike paths and jogging trails. It is by far the healthiest (and most liberal) big city in Texas. But Ed lives in Dallas, one of the fattest (and most conservative) cities in the U.S.

So from one brownie to another: Get to Weight Watchers pronto, Senor. Put down that chimichanga and go for a bike ride. If not, you’re going to end up like your Tia Roberta with diabetes or your nephew, Ricky, who had a heart attack at 31. There is life after the Mexican combination plate, Papito, now don’t be a dumb beaner and hit the treadmill.