Does God hate Katie Couric

It used to be we felt nothing but sunshine and butterflies when we’d turn on the tube in the morning to see her on the Today Show.  There she was in all her straight, white-toothed glory, ribbing Matt Lauer about his haircut, poking fun of Al Roker about his hat and making us feel apart of her morning family. 

We were there to see her smile her way past the evil Bryant Gumbel, deal with the death of her husband and then somehow manage to grow from her personal tragedy.  We saw the inside of this woman’s colon for God’s sake. 

Then the ballsy move to the CBS evening news.  Sure, at first it was all “Hi everyone!” and high ratings.  But then reality hit.  The old fogeys who still watched the dying format that is network evening news didn’t want to see a chipper lil’ cutie deliver hard news.  The harder she tried to make lemonade out of lemons, the faster her lemons rotted. 

Now the leak that CBS might be trying to replace Katie on the evening news.  Her 75 million-dollar, five-year contract doesn’t expire for a few more years.  Moving her to 60 Minutes would ruffle feathers over at that grand daddy of a news program.  Giving Katie her own syndicated show doesn’t appeal to her.  Les Moonves just doesn’t know what to do with Katie short of shoving her in front of a cross town bus. 

Thankfully, Ms. Couric is as resourceful as she is remorseless.  If CBS executives try to intimidate her, I have a feeling Katie will get all Faye Dunaway doing Joan Crawford at the Pepsi boardroom meeting on Mommy Dearest.  “Don’t fuck with me fellas!  This ain’t my first time at the rodeo.”