It’s good to see African Americans commenting on politics, reporting on financial news and even hosting their own political/entertainment shows on CNN.

We gays finally have the witty, intelligent, sexy and successful Rachel Maddow on MSNBC. Too bad my cable provider in Hong Kong doesn’t provide that channel.

The BBC has that sophisticated Sudanese sex kitten, Zeinab Badawi. A woman that both gay and straight men find equally appealing, but for entirely different reasons.

Even the Asians are kicking ass on CNBC, CNN and CNN International. Think Martin Soong, Atika Schubert and that feisty fashionista Alina Cho.

But as a Latino, I’m sad to see that the only news we get to report is the weather. And don’t give me that “What about Ed Lavandera?” crap. He’s one taco away from a heart attack. I’m sure the producers at CNN are already making that montage for when his belly finally explodes.

A weepy, bony Kiran Chetry speaking over video of Ed when he was in the pink: Ed Lavandera, you will be missed. When we come back, find out who’s tops at the box office! But before that, a check of the weather!

And out pops the Latino.

Mari Ramos with that manteca mouth of hers. Frijoles practically drip from her lips while che reports on da weather. “Aye, Dios Mios. Es going to thrain in Nicaragua. Mommi, bring in da cheekins, or jew won’t have paella when I come to visit jew en June.”

Lola Martinez, that Spanish dominatrix in her skin-tight, leather, lick-my-boot outfits, reads the weather with a snarl that leaves a whimpering Max Foster with an erection under his desk. At least she’s the antidote to that ray of plastic sunshine Jenny Harrison.

Then we have that phlegmy Guillermo Arduino from Argentina. There could be flash-floods in the Philippines or bush fires in Australia, but all this guy would want to talk about is the sunshine in Barcelona or the mudslides in Caracas. Anywhere that will allow him to speak Spanish in that over-articulated way of his. “Today, in ChiLE, sunchine. But dats not de case in Buenos AirES. The Rio Plata weell be aswollen over its banks so watch out.”

My God. These guys are the Mo, Larry and Curly of the weather.

Fat, funny, squishy mother type? Check. Sexy, sultry Spanish seductress? Check. Lisping, arrogant Argentine mama’s boy? Check.

Let’s get people who don’t fit cultural stereotypes.

Gay, misanthrope living in Hong Kong with a laptop, and an addiction to cable TV news? Guilty as charged.

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