A humpback whale appeared in the waters around Hong Kong late last week. Apparently, it got separated from its pod and wandered into the unfamiliar and overly friendly waters of Victoria Harbor.

When the story first broke, everyone jumped in their boats and headed out to greet the whale. The next day, authorities urged citizens to please leave the whale alone, and even provided maps of where the whale was spotted so that we could avoid these areas. Well, the authorities should have just handed out itineraries, as everyone used these maps as guides when they hopped in their boats to go visit with the whale.

A few days later, the authorities pleaded with people not to disturb the lost whale. They told us that he needed time and space to get his barrings, so that he could swim back out into the open sea to continue his annual migration to getting laid. They said that any interference with the whale would cause it to get sick and die. Now, everyone headed out to see this horny bastard before he bought the farm.

Next the authorities warned that anyone caught trying to greet the whale would be fined. The fine was nominal so the sightseeing continued.

Now the fine has been raised substantially as an even greater deterrence. Let’s see if this works. I’m just guessing you’ll see more yachts than kayaks tracking our lost visitor.

At least the poor whale didn’t end up in Tokyo Bay. He would have been killed for “research” and turned up in the food stalls at the Tsukiji Fish Market. Oishides!