That’s what you would think happened given all the hoopla over the photos Annie Leibovitz took of Miley Cyrus (aka Hannah Montana) for the current Vanity Fair. I know I’ve been living in Tokyo for three and a half years, but has everyone in the U.S. taken a prude pill? I mean really. It’s like we’re all turning into Kathie Lee Gifford. We’re all still Quaker Oats when we should be Hall and Oats.

When I first heard the news about Hannah Montana’s “racy” photos, I was happy. You see, last month I told my little sister that Miley would eventually go the way of Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan.

My sister told me, “Oh, you don’t understand because you’re living in Japan. Miley Cyrus is a really good role model for kids. She’s wholesome and good, not some skanky ho like Britney.”

I was ready to shoot my sister an email gloating about the fact that I just KNEW Miley’s inner whore would eventually surface. Imagine my surprise when I saw the “offensive” photos.

I’ve seen more “offensive” photos in the back of a box of Lucky Charms! You see Miley’s shoulder and the upper part of her back for Christ’s sake! If this is in any way titillating for you then you must not get out much, watch much TV or have had any type of sexual contact with anyone including yourself in a very long time.

The other photo of Miley with her dad, Billy Ray Cyrus of Achey Breaky Heart fame, was lame. Frankly, Annie could do better. But “oh my dear Lord you can see Miley’s bare midsection!” I see girls all the time showing off skin, some younger than fifteen. It’s fashion not kiddie porn.

We need to all grab hold of our collective selves, splash some water on our face, look in the mirror and say out loud, “grow the fuck up.”